HOA (a retro post)

This incident with my favorite foe, the Homeowner’s Association (HOA), occurred a few years ago when my dog was still gracing this planet with his presence.

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So, my HOA, for some reason, loves to pass rules against two specific dog owners in the community (a nice couple (the wife is named Violet) and me). They passed a rule last year that no “statues” may be placed in front of your condo/town home without their permission (however, they grandfathered in all the board members and their friends). So, they attempted to fine me $100 (I wrote them an email stating a $100 fine will not deter me as I bet 5x that on a hand of blackjack). They went on to state that the “statues” that were grandfathered in contributed to the “pleasing symmetry” of the community (I wondered how cracked planters could be either “pleasing” or “symmetrical”).

As the Board allows holiday decorations, I have since decorated the statue that still rests door side in all sorts of holiday garb for all major and random holidays, thereby making it a holiday decoration.

This brings me to my newest issue. I put up a “Beware of Dog” sign (as did Violet) about 6 months ago. For those of you who do not know, I have a 165 pound neapolitan mastiff. Just this week, a letter was sent out that only “security” signs such as ADT, Slomin’s, etc. would be allowed and “Beware of Dog” signs must go through an approval process. However, only two owners, Violet and I, have said signs. Not only is this ex post facto, it is clearly directed only at us. Moreover, I consider my dog my security. So, I did some legal research and wrote the following letter to the Napoleonic Board President:

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Meanwhile – they do not enforce the following, despite their knowledge of violations:

-BBQ’s on wooden balconies (which is against the Fire Code (and yes I have brought it to the attention of the Board that someone is eventually going to burn down the whole community due to carelessness and I have also alerted the Town Attorney and Town Fire Marshall – both of whom stated they would “look into it”))

-Commercial vehicles being parked on premises overnight;

-Owners renting to tenants.

The Beware of Dog sign rule was made 7 months after I put the sign up (and only one other person in the community has such a sign), which was in response to their new rule against statues (meaning, my dog statue next to my door (barely visible from the street)) which has been there for 7 years, was retroactively disallowed while everyone else was grandfathered in

The Beware of Dog sign rule basically only applies to one other person and myself — the HOA Board has a hard-on for me because I do not put up with their BS – a little civil disobedience is good for the community.

The entire makeup of the board is from the “Over-55” side of the community – they are all retired and in their 70’s and do nothing all day but patrol the community looking for nonsense to complain about. Those of us with things to do during the day do not have time to sit around and deal with this BS (however much time they have to make a rule that only applies to 2 people re: beware of dog signs, they have had ZERO time for the following issues which have been brought to their attention numerous times: charcoal BBQs on wooden balconies; cigarette butts in the streets; cars without parking permits; commercial vehicles; one couple who keep about 100 parakeets in their garage (they are definitely breeding and selling them); a guy who is going through a divorce with his wife actually living in the community clubhouse (the HOA denied both knowledge of this and that it was actually occurring) and finally, I recently found that there are $50k in unpaid maintenance fees and the board wants to raise the maintenance fees (basically forcing the paying owners to subsidize the non-paying owners)

Well, since I sent my letter, I have not heard from the HOA

Yeah the HOA should control the common areas, which is fine…unfortunately, anything beyond your windows and front door are common areas — for example, I can take a lounge chair, throw on a Speed-O and suntan myself on any grassy area – regardless of whose condo/townhome it is in front of – come to think of it—maybe that might be a good idea

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